


i can change everything about me to fit in

by bicadyheron



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Party, janis would do anything for her tbh, they're just in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicadyheron/pseuds/bicadyheron
Summary: Parties can bring out the worst in people, but they've always been an environment made for Regina. It's easy for her to be what people expect of her there because it's just laughing and dancing and drinking - but Janis is on the floor with her now and it's not so easy. Or maybe it can be, because Janis can teach her.
Relationships: Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	i can change everything about me to fit in

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everybody reading this is doing okay, especially tonight. You are loved, you are beautiful, and I hope you are safe.
> 
> TWs: drinking, anxiety (not mentioned directly but it sure is there), parties, it's about how Regina adapts to other people's expectations of her and worries she doesn't know who she is, so. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this, my first official foray into ReJanis.

Janis was reluctant to follow Regina to the frat party, but of course, the party “wasn’t a party until Regina showed up” and she “didn’t want to go alone”, so she followed along.

She knows that Regina didn’t really leave her self-esteem issues behind in high school, but she was a little better at handling it now. Janis is applying the finishing touches to the harsh lines of her dark lipstick when her girlfriend calls. “Janis, are you almost done?”

Fortunately, she was too used to the interruptions to be startled into fucking up the line of her Cupid’s bow and paused to respond. “Less than five minutes, babe, don’t worry.”

“Okayyy,”

True to her word, Janis came out of the bathroom as soon as she was finished. The appreciative once-over that Regina gave her wasn’t missed by any means, and if this hadn’t been so important to Regina, Janis would have abandoned any plans to anywhere other than the bed right behind them.

“Regina, you look amazing,” Janis whispers, right as they’re about to walk in. She’s in a tight dress adorned with sequins and black thigh-high boots over fishnets to match. “I want to keep you all to myself.”

“ _Janis_ ,” Regina whined. “We have go in, I have to make an _entrance_. They have to keep liking me.”

There’s so much Janis wants to say to that, especially because she knows that she’ll have to comfort the teary Drunk Regina in a few hours, but she just quirks up her mouth in a smile.

It seems as if Regina senses her hesitation, as she adds in a whispered afterthought “I’ll be shining just for you, though. Always.”

After that, she surges ahead, holding Janis’s hand until they get all the way through the door. Drinks are immediately placed in their hands from some nondescript white boy. Regina thanks him and swallows a painful mouthful of cheap beer, before speeding into the middle of the party.

It’s the usual routine, Janis thinks to herself. She’ll stand off to the side, slowly sipping her single drink of the night as Regina manages to find the spotlight and be whatever this particular party wants her to be. But no matter how many times Janis sees Regina change something about herself, it’s still a painful reminder of all the hurt in both of their pasts.

She’s been trying, Janis knows, and she’s never a bitch unless it’s deserved, but it’s so _easy_ for Regina to slip into another persona. She’s a hot party girl, a fashionista for her sorority, a careful and dedicated student, etc, etc.

Janis has always just been... herself. It’s not a choice she’d always been able to make, but she’d made the best of her situation, and at this point couldn’t imagine being anything but authentic.

A song with a fast dance beat comes on and a circle forms around a girl who Janis knows upon instinct is Regina.

She’s smiling and moving to the beat with practiced grace – she’s always been fond of dancing, but Janis knows the forced smile. Nobody else would see it, but she’s just reflecting the energy of everyone else there. Regina is a practiced mirror. She reflects the energy she knows people expect her to have, and she uses it to her advantage.

And maybe sometimes it’s admirable, but Janis has seen just how easily she can shatter, and how goddamn hard it is for her to collect herself again.

But how do you tell your socialite girlfriend that? It’s been her coping mechanism since age six.

And then Regina breaks from the usual routine. Janis is still hugging the wall – it’s not like she knows anybody here – when Regina shimmies over to her. “Janis, dance with me!”

“Babe, you know I don’t dance,” Janis laughed, but grabbed her girlfriend’s hand.

“But I’m shining just for you!” Regina pouts, smoothing her sequined dress and tapping her highlighted cheekbones. She leans in to whisper in Janis’s ear, and despite herself, a shiver runs down her spine. “You’re not like them, babe, they’re all just... revelers. If I broke, they’re so drunk that they’d just watch my shattered edges glisten.”

“Almost forgot how much you love metaphors when you’re tipsy,” Janis muttered, smiling at her girlfriend. “Alright. Fine. I’ll dance with you.”

She’s led into the crush of people in the middle of the... living room? It was hard to tell. But one of her favorite songs came on and Regina smirked at her. So Janis started dancing.

It’s nowhere near as graceful as Regina is next to her, in fact, it’s goofy and uncoordinated and probably really jerky, but it’s how she dances. Regina lets out a snort as Janis tries to dip her and almost drops her, and it’s a sweet glimpse through the facade in the middle of her trying to fit in.

After the song ends, they both break into giggles.

They dance a little longer, until Janis is tired of moving and making a fool of herself, and she extricates herself from the crowd to go back to hanging along the walls.

It’s not long after that when Regina comes to find her again. “Janis, I know they say the end is near, but –”

“Babe, I don’t want to cut you off, but I legitimately don’t know what you mean by “they say the end is near”. Is it the end of the party? The apocalypse? Death? Something else entirely?”

“The end of the party, duh. We should leave. I can’t stay until the end.”

Her voice was starting to waver, and Janis grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers. “Okay, Reg. I’ve got the keys; we can go whenever you want.”

At least they made it to the car before Regina started letting tears fall. Janis drove them home with a hand on Regina’s knee as she sniffled and tried to stifle the tears. After five minutes of driving beneath quiet streetlights that passed like an eternity, they were in the parking lot of their apartment complex.

Regina lets Janis scoop her into her arms and carry her all the way to the elevator, silent tears still flowing. They’re in the elevator when Regina finally speaks. “Janis?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Why do I always have to try so hard?”

Regina’s voice broke on the word try, silent tears turning into stifled sobs as she turned into Janis’s shoulder.

“Oh, baby, it’s going to be okay.” Janis tried to keep her voice from shaking – she hated seeing her girlfriend in pain, and despite having expected a little drunk cry, she didn’t anticipate the deep-rooted insecurities cry.

“No,” Regina whined, one hand lightly whacking Janis on the shoulder. “No it _won’t_ , because everybody else just knows how to be themselves and I don’t know who I am if I’m not trying to be what other people want me to be!”

The elevator dinged and opened the doors to their floor. Janis rubbed her thumb in what she hoped was a soothing manner over Regina’s side as she carried her to the door. “Baby, can you stand for me? I have to unlock the door.”

Regina wriggled out of Janis’s arms at her request, still hiccupping soft sobs. Janis unlocked the door as quickly as she could – which was always too slow when she was trying to comfort a crying Regina.

“Babe, can you walk into the bedroom? I can take care of your clothes and makeup.”

Regina nodded, and Janis followed her small, shuffling steps to their bedroom after shutting the door and throwing her jacket somewhere in the living room.

Janis sat Regina down on the bed and started taking her boots off. “Regina?” Her voice was soft and careful, tender in the way that it could never be with anybody but Regina George.

“Hm?” It was a small noise, but one of recognition all the same. Her sobs were settling into smaller cries now, which Janis knew either meant she was accepting whatever thoughts were running through her head, or she’d just tired herself out – and after a party, it could go either way.

“Can you tell me what made you start thinking all those thoughts?”

Both boots were now off and cast in the general direction of the closet. Janis stayed where she had been, kneeling on the floor and looking into Regina’s teary blue eyes in the dim light of the streetlamps shining through the windows. Regina hadn’t yet responded. Janis set a hand on her thigh, again rubbing small circles with her thumb. “Regina? Baby?”

“It’s so easy for you to be yourself no matter where we are,” Regina started, her voice still thick with tears. “You have your own sense of style and you don’t care what other people think, and you can dance like a maniac in front of like a hundred people and not get embarrassed! My whole life is like I’m balancing on the tightrope of other people’s expectations of me and I can’t get off, because I don’t know who I am without it.”

“Regina.” Janis tapped her thigh. “Look at me. Baby, look into my eyes. You’re gorgeous no matter how you dress, you are a smart and determined woman who chases what she wants. You’re Regina George, my hilarious and snarky and beautiful girlfriend, who I couldn’t be luckier to be dating. You live by ‘do no harm but take no shit’ and are somebody I can always lean on when I’m down. You’re you, Regina, and I love you.”

“Even when I have to try to be what people expect?” Regina sniffled.

“Yeah, Gina. It’s a coping mechanism you developed that you should probably work through, but it’s never going to make me love you any less.”

Janis reached up to wipe the tears off of Regina’s cheeks.

“I love you, Janis. And that I never have to walk a tightrope around you.”

Janis smiled and stood up. “Do you want to teach me how to slow dance? The lighting is perfect.”

Regina coughed out a laugh, clearing the last of her tears from her throat. “Only if I get to pick the music.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, that's so fetch! Feel free to leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed it!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @bicaddyheron ♡


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